Checked Out & Unable To Be Present With Your Family

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

There are days when I found myself in a trance, where it's like, I'm here with the family. Not really, that sound familiar? ends up in a place of miscommunication. It ends up in you influencing the mood of the household in a negative way. And overall, it leaves you feeling pretty ordinary that you think back and go, Oh, wow. My child was trying to tell me something. And I just wasn't there. I was distracted. I was on my phone, I was not really paying attention. It leads to frustration and fights around who said what it results in you missing important things that you needed to do, because you were listening to a conversation. And it's frustrating. So let me tell me what what's going on. My my young fella, he calls it NPC mode. So for the gamers, they'll know what that means. But it's the non player character in games that aren't controlled by a, an actual human, but the computer just allows them to go where they go, right? It's kind of what it's like where we're there. But we're not really there. We're not in control of it. You have those moments where you're not actually taking in what people are saying. But you are just replying, acknowledging, maybe saying yes to something that you shouldn't be agreeing to. And then it comes back to bite you on the bum later when someone partner children says, you said you were gonna do this? And you're like, No, there's no way in the last year we had this conversation. And you go, Oh, I remember the first half of that conversation, but then I just completely checked out. I didn't hear the rest of it. But apparently you will reply.

Now, the flips, the flip side of that might be true as well is that you might have thought you said something, you might have thought you gave clear direction. But you didn't. You did in your head. You thought about doing it. Your memory of it, because it's a bit clouded. But the tiredness was like sure that I said it. But you didn't. Now there might be different times where you can get away with this by being adamant that you didn't, but when more than one member of the household, backs up the other party and says no, that's not what happened. Then you start thinking, wow, where am I going in that time? When am I drift off to why am I drifting off like that? There's a number of things at play. One is you're not resting. Now when I say rest, you might be doing things that aren't work, but you're not properly switching off. You still got different thoughts popping into your head about what you need to do. What is unresolved different ideas, but anything work related that just is not helpful on the weekend and you want to be able to switch off right? You don't want to be thinking about those things on the weekend that you know that you need to rest better. One of the most powerful tools there is to brain dump. And you might have done this before but are you doing it regularly? end of week get everything out of your head every possible thought before you get to bed as many times as you need to to start getting this stuff out of your head. I need to find clarity part of the brain dump process, we'll do that instead of these all these different things being a swirl in your head of thoughts, you've got that clarity, then map it out. What do you need to break that down into smaller pieces? As much clarity as you can. And the other question I'll ask you is, are you prioritizing work ahead of the other most important things in your life. When you're faced with the toughest moments in your life, and you will be, I can tell you, the last thing you're thinking about is work. You're thinking about your own health, you're thinking about the health of your partner, your children, and the most important things. Now, work is important. But I guarantee you, no matter what you do, that, it's ultimately not more important than your health. Definitely. If you're here, listen to this podcast. It's definitely not more important than your relationship with your partner or your children, and other important people in your world. But when you prioritize your work, your business, your career over those things that are more important. To the point where you are going above and beyond in your work to the point where it's to the detriment of everyone else, then that's where you get in these places of treads, you're not able to be present, for your family, for your friends, and for yourself. So I want to ask you, to make a commitment to yourself, a commitment to yourself to do whatever it takes to change. And I want you to write that commitment down. And I want you to share it with someone else. Because there's nothing like a public declaration to help you make changes. Building accountability by getting him to check in with you if that's helpful. It really is the commitment and the action, the doing which enables you to make change. If you don't have someone that you can trust that you feel safe to share this can within the domain me. Send me an email, follow me on social send me a message. And let me know you're making this commitment to yourself. Making these commitments will change your life. It'll allow you to get out of NPC mode. Stop being that non player character that that just drifts along. But have purpose in the game. have skin in the game. have control of your part in the game, the game of life. And when you do that you're set yourself up to win. Give yourself the best chance to be successful in all those most important areas of your life.

And you'll never regret that you'll only ever thank your self for taking the time, the effort, the discipline, the drive, having the courage to make all that happen.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform.