Ep 456 - Stopped By Obstacles That Are No Longer There

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

I just had a comical moment with my dog, I was coming up the back steps onto the deck. And he's under the deck is behind the steps. And I call him to come out because he's been under there before. And he slides in the gap between the steps we couldn't get back through. So he's obviously grown to that point where now that's a bit too challenging for him. The funny thing is, is that under that deck, there used to be a fence. That would mean that the only way in and out of the from under there was through the stairs. So the fence was in place for the previous dog who didn't know how to do the stairs. Because the fence was no longer beneficial because the dog could get it out of the stairs. Well, the fence had been taken down. But he couldn't see any other path. Because he'd always gone through the stairs. But if he turned literally two feet, to his right, there was a gap where he could have just walked straight through. But he was really unsure about coming that way. And when I called him he wouldn't come out actually reach in grab him by the collar and then just laid him out. And got me thinking, I don't know if you've seen that experiment where they put the fish in a tank. And on one side is a fish that is a predator. And on the other side, it's the fish that would be the prey. And I leave these fish here with a glass divider for a certain period of time. And then eventually, again, I don't know the exact details of the time they take the divider away. But the the predator doesn't try and get the other fish that the programming is that I can't get them. Because whenever I've tried in the past, I wrote in this class wall. And it got me thinking how many times in life are people thinking that there's not another way? Because this is how it's always been this is how I've always done it, it's always worked before then it stops working. And yet they can't see the solution. It's just if they just point the other direction, or if they try something different. So have a think about where that might be happening in your life. Because certain strategies and coping mechanisms work in life until they don't. And when they start working, it's usually because life is showing you that you're ready to change, you're ready to evolve, you're ready to adjust to deal with whatever's been keeping you in that position in the first place. Now, how often are you not seeing another solution? Because you're so tied to this old belief, this old agenda, something you've been told? Or is it a fear? It's unknown. So maybe you don't want to tackle it. Maybe you don't want to see another way, another way out another option. And here's a big one. If you are open to this new possibility, well you have to admit that perhaps you were wrong about what you were so you're so sure about maybe you even told people you were so sure about you've been adamant about some particular way and now something's presented. And you feel like you're gonna lose face somehow by admitting that maybe you were wrong. There's a there's a great quote that I heard from a philosopher and it was like people would rather die it'd be right. In other words, a rally go to their grave, stubbornly thinking that they're right about what they thought, rather than being prepared to look at things differently and go, maybe I didn't, maybe it wasn't right about that. I remember having arguments with friends saying, but you said this before, I might, yeah, I did. And then I learned something else that showed me that that's no longer correct. And my belief now, or my thoughts on this now, will probably change again, when new evidence is presented. And it allows you to change quickly, be more dynamic, be able to overcome anything that comes your way with this openness to look at things from a different perspective. And that will be part of you now going, I'm already really open. I'm so open to different things. But I would ask you, what is that thing that you haven't been able to do yet? Whether it's a what to feel about yourself, whether it's something you want to go and achieve whatever it is, what is that thing that you're still not able to get, they're still not able to do? Because I guarantee you, there'll be some solution that will be probably right under your nose, probably easier than you think. Because you're tied to old patterns, old behaviors, old systems, old ways of being that you just closed yourself off from. You're not prepared to see it yet. Some things take time, some things turn up exactly the right time. So this is not about putting pressure on yourself or getting down on yourself, but instead be more open to new possibilities to new ways to new solutions. Be okay with some thoughts and beliefs. And even if you're really adamant about things that maybe they were wrong, there, maybe there is another way. Maybe that someone that you really trusted had told you something, and you were sure they were right, maybe they weren't. Maybe there is a different way. And I'm a firm believer that there is a solution to every one of life's problems, if you're prepared to look, be curious and be open to finding something that perhaps you've never considered.

So how do you start making that change? Have a think about what's the number one thing that keeps getting you stuck? Write down all the things you've tried. what's worked, what hasn't? And think about if you could change that thing. What would be helpful to you? Who will be helpful to you? Where would there be a solution? Man take action. Action is the key action breeds confidence momentum. Go there, take action and see what you find. And of course, let me know how you go. If you have any thoughts on this. I appreciate the people who do take the time to message me and pass on their thoughts. I'd love to hear from Maury.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform