Realising Your Super Power With Carl Jennings

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfilment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it. Welcome, everyone. And welcome to my guest this week, Carl Jennies. Carl, how are you mate?

Unknown Speaker 1:06

I'm feeling really good. Thank

Ian Hawkins 1:07

you. Great to hear. Now I feel like we should have recorded when we just connected beforehand, because he was already telling me so many great stories. And I'm looking forward to reliving them now with no audience. So before we get too much into the story, Carl, tell us a little about a bit about what you do now. That super cool a you've got there. And yet the way the difference you're making in the world at the moment?

Unknown Speaker 1:33

nd we've been going now since: 2016

Ian Hawkins 2:51

100%. Awesome. So you're taking people through a programme? Can you tell us a little bit a bit more about, like, what you're taking them from? And then what, what outcomes they're getting?

Unknown Speaker 3:06

Well look at the end of the day. It's, it's for young people. It's not necessarily strength and conditioning.

Ian Hawkins 3:16

But it is, which is, which is what your

Unknown Speaker 3:19

background? Yeah, so my background is athletic development. And I've worked at the highest level in elite professional sport. We're based in Western Sydney, which is just down the road from you in you know, so you can come in and look for yourself. And then it's a pretty inspirational place, it's been a it's been a real journey. Because my background is as an elite coach, not necessarily as an elite businessman. So I've been on a really steep, steep learning curve. But I've built really, really strong connections within the community, through the council, through the local government, through sporting bodies, parents and athletes just because of what we do, and how we do it, I suppose a my energy and my my, not necessarily my passion, or drive, because that's what I used to have, in my normal high performance world. This is now my mission. I truly believe this is what I'm supposed to do, which ties me back into what I'm going to talk about later.

Ian Hawkins 4:25

Beautiful. And I'd love to hear more about that when we get back into it. Because what you describe there is what what you are supposed to do. And you know, you think of how many people in their life are searching for one. There's gotta be more than this. Like, yeah, what what's the point of all this? And I think that will I know by you sharing your story, how much that's gonna help people to identify in their own stories.

Unknown Speaker 4:56

Well, I think I can answer that really quickly.

Ian Hawkins 4:59

You go So,

Unknown Speaker 5:00

what I want you to do is just point to yourself and say this is mica point two seven sentences mica points yourself and said this is me.

Ian Hawkins 5:08

This is my I thought you said calm I was gonna say was yeah

Unknown Speaker 5:10

point yourself. This is mica get assertive with me.

Ian Hawkins 5:14

Oh, this is me. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 5:16

None of your point to yourself.

Ian Hawkins 5:19

This is lost on the people listening to this on the finger pointing me. I mean, would mean not getting this right.

Unknown Speaker 5:28

Okay, fair enough. So where are you pointing in? Where are you pointing?

Ian Hawkins 5:31

And my heart? Correct,

Unknown Speaker 5:33

Amondo and everybody does that? Yeah, subconsciously. Yes, very few people say this is Carl. This is Carl. But not. So answer. Your question is that the majority of humans, it's in human nature, we get obsessed with living in Myth worrying about what happened yesterday, and worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow. So we can spend our whole lives living in myth, and not living in the moment and experiencing life. So to answer your question, if you can truly get in touch with that part that you is pointing to in your heart, your soul, your spirit, your bid and follow your dreams through that then things that make you feel good, rather than worrying or trying to follow things that you perceive to be the right thing to do. That's the I truly believe that's a secret. It's hard. But I think it's truly the secret, you get you get reminded of that probably on a daily basis, but we choose to ignore it, we focus on things that maybe we could have done better, in some cases, traumatic events that have been happened years and years decades ago, can still affect us and manifest on a daily basis. But your we could go we could sit in a car and travel from A to B together in the same car talking about the same things going from A to B. And at the end of it your perception of that journey is different to mine. So as no matter what happens as you move forward through your life, that the the actual reality can change in your own mind. And, and so I don't trust my mind, why would you believe me? But I wouldn't trust mine. I don't trust I don't trust my brand. I don't trust my mind. I trust who I am. And I think that I, I found out that quite a long time ago. Yes, you have to plan for the future if you want to be successful. But holy how you got to live in the moment. And all the great athletes that I've worked with, and the current great athletes in the world, they have a skill, the greatest skill, which is being present in the moment. Is that powerful for the everyday man in the street or woman in the street? 100%. But it's a skill that you have to practice. You have to practice it at. But first of all, before you practice it, you have to be aware of it.

Ian Hawkins 8:07

Yeah. And what I was drawn to is us telling that story, particularly around the heart is then by both of us practising that. Is that how that's how we came to have this conversation anyway. Because I think you might have clicked on something in mind. I'm like, I don't know.

Unknown Speaker 8:22

I think there's more I think there's more involved in that. And I think it's I'm a true believer in, in the universe, whatever that is. And I think this this conversation here is meant for a reason I do not absolutely 100% That I don't believe in chance. I believe that everything is meant to be I truly believe that. Some people are religious, some people are spiritual, I'm more on the spiritual side. But I truly believe this conversation is meant for a reason I have to because of my little journey. So I believe that things are meant to be. So that's why if somebody reaches out to me, whether it's a high performer like un or a parent, or just somebody in the street, that bumps into me, I give them my time, because the greatest commodity in the world is time. And the greatest gift you can give to somebody else is your time. So work because we only have so much of it. It's such a powerful commodity. We most people don't use it wisely. Most people aren't even aware of it. Some people get a reminder now and again, time is only going to last for you as an individual for so long. But time is so precious. So utilising your time as your greatest commodity to do good in the world. I believe that everybody has responsibility to do good in the world. It's such a powerful thing.

Ian Hawkins 9:41

Yeah, so good. So whether you get meant to be absolutely, but following my heart to go, oh, I don't know what it is. I'm gonna go check this guy out. Because you popped up in LinkedIn for some reason. And then I see what you did. And then I was drawn to your story and I'm like, Okay, this this is I'm on I need to chat to and then when we jumped before we jumped on and started recording. It was like instant connection. Ryan, we're talking the same language. And that's what I love. So that's what you're doing now, you mentioned the fact that you spent a lot of time in, in performance and strength and conditioning. So let's go back now what what was that moment because I asked you for some pivotal, pivotal moments. So I said three to five, and you said, three to five. And I can tell that you had like, like, heaps of them. So we just tried to focus on the important ones. But the one that you talked about when your youngster that that moment that really changed the sort of person you were, and then took you on this journey that led to all the other amazing things that have unfolded. So tell us about that.

Unknown Speaker: 10:45

So look, sports an amazing thing. I know that from experience that I came from a really humble working class background, I had real loving parents, but we had very little apart from my parents looking back having time for me, again, which is a powerful thing, isn't it? So. But my father was one of the probably one of the first bodybuilders and amazing, amazing man, hard working man working class, an engineer, he started, he's 87 now and he's still training almost every day. He started his apprenticeship on steam engines, and finished his work in life building jet fighters. And so he's just an amazing human being, you know, so, but my first memory was watching him doing exercises. But I must have been three or four years old at that time, but natural facts, as I mentioned to you in that my God given talent was music, and I had an ear for music. I lived and grew up in a really tough part of the north of England, where music just wasn't done. But, and I actually watched a movie, it's a really old movie, the Glenn Miller story. When I was really young, I think it'd been about eight. My parents obviously couldn't afford a saxophone, because that's what I wanted. But they bought me a little cheap clarinet, which was fine. Yeah, and I used to hide the clarinet and mustard in my school satchel and go to school every day, sit with all the tough kids at the back of the back of the class, misbehaving little skinny asthmatic kid snot running down my face, the typical kid from the north of England and but I suppose that was very talented on the clarinet. Looking back, I was obviously dyslexic because I struggled reading and writing in particular, couldn't read music, but I had an amazing ear for music. And it got to a point where I got select the selected for a youth orchestra. And it was quite a big thing for the school. So I can always remember just being sad. In the back of the assembly with with all the other Badlands. Yeah. And the music teacher came out to the front assembly, that'd be nine at the time. And she said something along the lines of, oh, we're very proud. We've got one of our pupils been selected for the, you know, the youth orchestra and Carl come to the front of the assembly. And I can remember as I stood up, everybody just staring at me from that was sat around me and I to go to the front of assembly.

Ian Hawkins: 13:23

What was the what was the like bodily reaction then, like you when you knew that they were talking about you to just suddenly get this or chill out.

Unknown Speaker: 13:31

I mean, this is a long time ago, you know, I mean, I remember feeling really sick. I felt really embarrassed. I didn't, I didn't want it to I just didn't want to be there. I wasn't too sure what was gonna happen. I had to go to the front of assembly, she's on a piano, you know, gave me that my clarinet that she had in him in her classroom. And I had to play Green Sleeves, which is you know, holy macaroni. So, which have played how I've probably played it very well. Everybody at the front was clapping. Or my group at the back was just staring at me and my life changed instantaneously. So I went from and it's human nature and I accept that. You know, when you're slightly different. You know, you're a target, aren't you? So I wasn't the biggest strongest kid at the school. I was a skinny little asthmatic. And I just got beaten up every day from that point on. And so which which wasn't great, but it's something you accept when you're in back in the day and that seems to get the ken used to get the slap used to get a good idea now and again, that's just how it was. But I had a really loving supporting family. I didn't tell them what was going on. I just told them I didn't want to play music anymore. So which which was a bit sad because I also played in. I also played in a marching band as well in the scouts. I played the bugle in the marching band when I was nine a good year for me. No, no. And there's a youth Oh kestra And he also used to play the bugle and the biggest band championships in the UK the Brighouse band championships. And I actually won it at nine years old playing a bugle solo. So I was very gifted with music, but ultimately I turned my back on music because music just bromby pianists get beaten up all the time. So my dad obviously being an amazing athlete in his day doing an innocuous sport back in the day, you know, people thought my dad was a freak because he had 20 jobs as it would never wear a t shirt and I was going to share it cover it up. But he was this amazing athlete so he dragged me along to the gym when I think I was 13. I was a skinny little asthmatic, but within probably two months doing pullovers and squats. I obviously had a natural disposition for strength even though a skinny and they asked me seem to go, I just seem to go and I enjoyed lifting weights. That was probably the only thing I could do. A very little coordination but I was naturally strong, but by the time I was 1617, I was actually the north of England under 23 powerlifting and Olympic lifting champion. So I got very strong and the natural progression for that was to do throwing events. I was very blessed again. Because I lived on this Astaire but I actually had a found two of the friends. One was a year older than Miko. Shin one was two years older than me called Dave. We used to, we started training in the back of this little Garrett's channel doing weights together. We found a little little coach, we used to drive ride our bikes out. So it was three lads. Three young lads from Indiana State in whole. Fast forward three or four, four years. Dave Smith became the Commonwealth hammer champion, Chanda can the UK hammer champion, became the British shotput champion, three daft lads from a little list in the north of England, because we just train hard together. That's all we did. It was just an amazing time. And I suppose from my perspective, that's a whole new different story, that little journey that went on for about 10 years. Trying to get selection for the Olympics, things went slightly wrong there, but it was meant for a reason. Yeah. But ultimately, the traumatic event of my clarinet story, yeah, was the fact that it pushed me in the direction of Sport and Sport. For me. It's just been this amazing journey. It's the one thing that I was found out that I was quite good at. It was the one thing where I found some really close friendships. And it was the one thing that I realised through hard work and determination because I wasn't naturally gifted to throw long nails in the shot. I was probably too short, but I got tremendously strong. You know, looking back, you know, my lifts in the weight room was pretty amazing, you know, so I got very strong through relatively okay, you know, probably, and I've been an overachiever, and I'm a proud overachiever. And I've been a proud overachiever. My whole life. I cannot stand. Even though I'm very caring, selfless person. I can't stand people that underachieved as my head. But I really

Unknown Speaker: 18:34

admire people that actually overachieve. And I think it's a really proud statement to make to say that, you know what, I can look back on my life, and I'm a flippin overachiever. I think I think it's a great thing to do.

Ian Hawkins: 18:46

We were talking before, you would ask me a bit about me. And I was talking about some of my strengths. And it was going on in my head as I was saying it like, it's just some thing that is just so natural to me. But it comes at a cost. Because sometimes when I'm trying to make things better all the time, like there's not a level of satisfaction. So when you're an overachiever, and you're proud of it, does that give you challenges where it's hard to find that level of? Well, I've I've reached where I want to reach or are you constantly thinking of better, better better?

Unknown Speaker: 19:23

No, for me, it's a good question, because I can understand why you ask that. For me, it's a lack of confidence. Be more than believe it. That's it, because I can't believe when I do things. And I flip it I honestly, I've always thought outside the box. I've always changed things. Looking back at the the ability to change things, change things dramatically to one of my favourite one. My first job in rugby league was the Bradford balls. So that was at quite a young age. It wasn't my first job as a strength Coach, my first job as a strength coach, I actually went to Leeds United, they were in the English Premier League at the time to do a talk on nutrition, I would have been late 20s. And I was heavily involved with nutrition at the time. This is going back at a time when it wasn't really a thing. But because of my background as a power athlete working with some of the best athletes in the world at the time, which was some of the British athletes. I did a talk at Leeds United. And that's a whole different story. That's a funny story I can tell you about that story. That's a story. And that's again, a strange story. No, we haven't got time. And we'll come back to come back to that. It's quite a funny story. My first gig was one of the first strength coaches in the EPL that didn't want me to touch the legs because I wanted to do a talk on nutrition and then the head coach. He asked me whether or not I could actually look after his athletes in the gym, don't touch the legs, cow, because you've changed the centre of gravity. But just I just want you to work on the upper body. This is you know, this is old school stuff, which I did. But the natural progression for that was to go into a probably a more power related sport, which was the brand for boards again, a coincidence, a coincidence, and that actually happened, a story in itself. But it was at a pivotal time in rugby league, especially in the north of England, the Super League just started. Bradford balls was a mid table team for three or 4000 people in the stand predominantly men flat gaps. Yeah. And I can I'm really proud of the fact that I truly believe that I took the first true power programming to believe that the first true nutritional emphasis into Rugby League, and that team train like no other team would ever slip in trade, I'd argue with anybody. And we went from group dynamics is a big thing. We had accidentally a really looking back a really amazing group of men that go into that process. And that became a dominant force in Rugby League. The force really became a phenomenon. It went from having three or 4000 in the crowds up average crowds of over 20 with an I think 60% were women and children. It was a, it was a real phenomenon. And it was amazing to be part of literally amazing, you know, when I came to Australia, we had former players that came over and stayed with us. But we had former fans that used to come over. Because it was like one big family. It was just an amazing time in sporting history. I can't explain what that phenomenon was like it was truly amazing. And Phil, look after the Bradford bulls for five years, I came to Australia.

Ian Hawkins: 22:48

So before we get to that part, yes. You said at that same time, that when that was all unfolding, you also went through one of the darkest days in your life as well. I did.

Unknown Speaker: 22:59

I did. Yeah. Which was pivotal, I suppose which, which gave me a drive. It gave me the drive. So look, I actually, I was running a business at the time. And that's another story, which is quite an unbelievable story. But we won't talk about that. But that's a story in itself. That's quite an amazing story. But look, ultimately what happened was I ended up having a role. I was offered a role in the Bradford balls because I had gotten spoke to the head coach at the time. And I was talking about things that wasn't really understood in rugby league at the time. But we made a bit of a connection on power through the ground contact, etc, etc. Which was what the hell's this guy talking about? It gave me they gave me a six month contract. that six month contract actually went on for probably 20 years throughout, which was great. Yeah, well look, I got this role in rugby league in the October November time, and I came from a rugby league town hall they have two feminists who believe things but I wasn't really integrability I was I was into my athletics you know that's what I focused on a trend every day twice a day. I was an international athlete that's what I focused on my mom she was right into rebel it that's it she would always watch and she didn't really come from wasn't into any sport really. But she'd watched the Challenge Cup finals, you'd watch games on the TV and, and she was always into it. And this is life. From in my experience of life is that it can be really cruel. Life can be really cruel. And my mom who was such a loving person, and she had struggles in life, but she was such a loving, caring type of person. You wouldn't meet a nicer person in your life. You know, she got she got cancer. She hadn't really been ill in a life at all. Apart from some mental health issues. Gotten little verbal basically, by December, I got the job in October, November. And by the end of December she she died, she passed away of cancer. It happened really quickly. It was very traumatic. And obviously a huge impact of me because my closest person personally, my life with my mom, she'd always been there always been that we had a really tight connection. So it was, it was a really traumatic times it is for anybody. Yeah, when you when you're not actually realised about your own mortality, it was just really sad. And she was and she was so tough and selfless. She, she never complained about the pain she was in she was in the hospice, which is at the end of my street. You know, I, I remember going in to see her and one of the one of the, one of the nurses that was there who was actually went to the same gym as me at the time. He said, I call you know, your mom's hanging on because she just keeps hitting to, you know, fight it, Mom fight it. And he said, she's just hanging on. And she leaves she needs to go, she needs to leave. She's in waiting. What she must be in so much pain, you know. So, you know, I actually went into the room and spoke to her about everything was going to be okay, etc, etc. And within, you know, a few days she's passed, she passed away. I think at that moment, she she just given not given up but accepted the fact that she was going to be Ra, you know, and it was it was a very traumatic time. Yeah.

Ian Hawkins: 26:40

Yeah. Goosebumps through that whole part. We often we look at different things from one context. And we Yeah, that's okay. Like, how many times is the vet said to people, you know, like, the pets have a need your permission to go. Sometimes the most important people in our life do as well, because they will keep fighting. And I'm drawn to a story of a friend who was battling a really aggressive disease, and she would go in to see her pop who was in a coma and every day and then she says, Papa, more or more good now. I'm healed. And later that night, yeah, like it's permission because we had this connection. So I'd love to hear more from you. Because I know you said, we talked about, you know, who you were. And you said, Well, your intuitive in Melanie is, he's like your greatest gift. So is that part of what draw you drew you? Well, firstly, to realise what you needed to do and to to be able to go and have that conversation with your mum for more that intuitive space?

Unknown Speaker: 27:46

I think so. Yeah, I think so my intuitive space is probably a little bit extreme in age to think I've gotten a little bit mad at times, but when I was younger, when certain things happened around me, just with my mum, so the story how, obviously that mum passing, etc, etc, it was really challenging time. It actually made me very angry, and but I channel channel that anger into Drive. And it drove me to be the character that I became image versus identity. So the image I had on the sideline, was this larger than life warrior that took his men into battle. got fined on numerous occasions on the sideline. But, you know, I, honestly, it was just it was I was full on, I think, but that was my image. Internally, I have this intuition. And I didn't really want to go into this story too much, because it's a little bit out there.

Ian Hawkins: 28:57

But for instance, for us is all about out there. So let's go okay, for instance,

Unknown Speaker: 29:03

here we go. So I explained to you that we had a really close connection with my mom when I was with when she died. I can remember I used to live down the street from the hospice and I left early morning and I always remember the my sister again, we're not religious, but we went into the chapel and there was there was that really famous hymn about footprints in the sand? You know, the famous one where the person is asked is going through trolls and guard on it word for word probably should have learned it is quite pivotal at the time. And it was just there on the stained glass windows and it's a story about you know, somebody feels like the hopeless and they've been left behind and, and the Spirit of God. You know, I'm so desperate right now, you know, and I look back and you're supposed to be with me, but when I look back on the sand there's only one set of footprints why if I my side, and God says to the person, it's because I've been carrying it, you know, something along those lines, it's a powerful thing. So myself and my sister aren't really religious but when it when went into the chapel where that was there was this like story and it was really amazing start with oh, that's that's amazing store very nice very amazing. So obviously my mom passes away and and it was in winter, obviously December time in the UK and I left the and it started snowing now as as I walked down the street about maybe a kilometre it's three o'clock in the morning. There's nobody about it, it was snowing really heavily and I remember walking to my house, my gear and I look back and there was just my footprints in the sand than in the snow down the street and, and that and then then that story came into the front of my mind. And I thought you know, that gave me a bit of strength. It was almost like my mom would walk walk me back home. Yeah, that's just a personal thing. That's how I felt. But fast track. So fast track a few months. So we had a massive offseason at the Bradford bulls 9697 weekend now. We were just a powerhouse. We'd had a big offseason. And we went unbeaten. And we got to the Challenge Cup final, which in the UK is one of the it's one of the crown jewels of British sport. It's well north of England go down to the old Wembley and it's it's an amazing thing. And I remember we went down and we stayed in this hotel. And for me, this is my first year in the league elite professional sport. We went down and stayed in this hotel. And I remember getting up in the morning. It's all new to me. It's all new to me. I hadn't been part of team sport my whole life had been an individual athlete. And at that time, we've been unbeaten. So we had a great group of men around I got up in the morning went for a walk is a lovely spring morning. And we got up early for our little team walk on game day. I was walking through the parks of this beautiful country hotel. And we ended up underneath this cherry blossom tree with why blossom. I'll take a breath because it's gonna just take a breath,

Ian Hawkins: 32:30

your take your time

Unknown Speaker: 32:41

that's a good thing, that emotion to be emotionally and if you don't know it's coming. It's coming to you every corner. Yeah. So I went for this walk with a team this larger than life here. I'm looking at me and you know, larger than like Viking. Yeah, my men with my men. And it probably it's only a few months after mom passed. And what I didn't realise were underneath this cherry blossom tree. Am I allowed to swear in? You swear Are you like, okay, so it was one of the cherry blossom tree and I just it was a beautiful morning. And we all stood around in a circle and the coach got the boys Oh, look boys, what a great day we've got here. And then he's voicing to go silent. Because I just felt like I was in this moment of complete and utter Sara serenity. I just felt amazing. And I just felt like my mom was there with me. And I said, Boy, you know, when Buddha's big bloke said some stuff now, you know, he was really stressed. And Mom, if you hear if you hear just give me a sign and OT almost instantaneously, or almost all I'll say Oh, because I'm a good storyteller. All this white blossom just fell off the tree. And we was underneath the train. It just fell down and one of our players went for good ol it's snowing. And also, for me, for me it was like that was that she was there with me. And I just truly felt her presence. And over the time between now and then. i It regret and I've talked about my father about this and he and my sister and they crave. They crave to have that feeling. I just think some people have that. I don't know it's just a it's not a gift. It's almost a curse type of thing where you just get in tune with that other side a little bit. But at that moment, she was definitely one to present with me. I have over 1000 of these type of experiences from my life from being really young. So it's that ability. It's always allowed me to have a real superpower when it comes to mentor Athletes because you feel their energy, feel their connection, it's, I've always built really, really strong connections with all my players. So, to this day, you know, so that was that pivotal moment with my mom changed my destiny, change my direction in life. But it also enabled me to realise that, that energy that whatever that is, can be a really powerful too, as well as being quite scary. You know?

Ian Hawkins: 35:30

I mean, I got so many goosebumps through that, like, I've had similar experiences with my dad. I've spoken to many other people, and they've had similar experiences. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker: 35:41

I think it's really common, but I just don't think we accept it. And I think it's really common.

Ian Hawkins: 35:46

And so I was gonna say, like, one thing is, is we don't talk about it enough. And the second thing is, if people are wondering what Where's theirs? It's like, well, when you are open to it, yeah. God, similar to me, like I've had those experiences in my life. When you're open to it, then you're more able to receive now we can get to be more open to it too. Right. So I imagine that's part of the magic for you for transforming athletes, and also now trans, transforming young people used to help them to step more into that that space.

Unknown Speaker: 36:18

Yeah, I think so. It's just, it is what it is. And it truly is what it is. Because along with, it's just, she's just talking about me, isn't it at the end of the day, so look, mobileread journey. And this is actually, there's 1000 pivotal moments in our billing journey. But obviously, a really traumatic and other really traumatic event again, happened 20 years later, 20 years later. So yeah,

Ian Hawkins: 36:51

can we can we just, like come back to like, that journey after your mom passed, because there's something there that was really present for me. And I know, he's present for so many other people. And you said that that grief, became that anger, and you describe some of those on the sideline for me was in, in sport, like, like when I was playing, I'd get so much of that aggression. You also said you were able to shift that to actually channel into something that was so much more beneficial. So can you describe what that was like, and how you're able to transform that because I know so many people, particularly men who don't know how to process anger in a healthy way. So I'd love for you to share some wisdom.

Unknown Speaker: 37:39

You know, back in the day, it was just something was a natural thing to happen. What I do now after looking back, when you're when you're working in high performance, it's almost like being on a locomotive going 1000 mile an hour, if locomotives got that quick. And you didn't really step off it when I stepped off it, I chose to step off it, I time to think back. It's actually behaviour, we're talking about behaviour here, aren't we so I understand about behaviour and I look back and behaviour is your greatest driver of your state or your ability or your performance. It's about behaviour. Now you I think it's almost impossible to change your character. I think I think a lot of that is a genetic thing, you know, your character is your character, but you can definitely change your behaviour and you can change your behaviour in a millisecond. If you truly want to change it. And you have a choice, you have a choice to change that behaviour for good and positiveness. Or you can choose to change your behaviour for bad and negativeness is good and bad zone has been around doesn't it and human nurture behaviour is the greatest driver. When I look back, when I've been blessed and very lucky to work with in rugby league, a lot of the best players in the world. And in rugby union, apparently some of the best players I've ever played again. When I looked, when I looked back at them, I asked myself, this is what I coach with my young people now is it's called Super six, because of the six behaviours of a champion. So when I look back, and I noted it down to six behaviours, and then they all had in common number one humility, humility, that they all they're all very humble people. And how does that relate to a young person? Well, if you're humble and nice, well, people will want to help you and young people need help. So being humble is very innocent. I'm telling you. I have kids that walk in that aren't very humble because their environment every living cell on this planet is affected by its environment, environment, your environments toxic You will wither and die. If your environments nurturing you will grow and flourish. So my job is to create a nurturing environment. And we talk about that in group dynamics. Don't worry about environment, but you cannot underestimate the environment somebody is in and how amazing that that can be or negative. So look, the six behaviours, humility, number two sacrifice and what sacrifice actually means and sacrifice isn't getting up and training twice a day, that's training twice a day sacrifices and putting in in the on game day because you're playing the game because you love it. People that are successful, understand and learn about sacrifice, and sacrifice has to be made. I truly believe that in your life, I think that the strongest people go through the biggest adversity and they come out strong at the back of it. So sacrifice, and finding out what you need to do to make that sacrifice is an accepting things go by now and again, for a reason is part of that sacrifice. That's number two. You can't you cannot move forward confidently without accepting sacrifice has to be made. Number three, you have to be loyal. The best of the best number one are loyal to themselves. What does that mean? They look after themselves to give them positive themselves positive reinforcement, or they're hard on themselves. 100% But does it come from a place of care? 100%. So loyalty is such a powerful thing. You have to learn how to be loyal to yourself. Part of that is forgiveness. Yeah. To be loyalty itself. You have to be loyal to your team. They're the people around you. And thirdly, you got to be the best of the best are really loyal with their family. I haven't met a successful person yet that isn't loyal to its farmer. I haven't. That's just my personal experience. But I've met hundreds, hundreds of them. And they are very family oriented people. I'm talking about the best of the best to you, by the way. Yeah. Then there's emotional resilience or mental toughness. Initially, I wrote it down as mental toughness, because I came from a contact sport background. But in actual fact, developing mental toughness or resilience is crucial. The best of the best of very resilient people physically and emotionally. Is that a natural trick? In some cases yet? Can it be trained 100%.

Unknown Speaker: 42:30

Number five, follow your dreams. Everybody has a dream. Everybody has an ambition. Stop ambition. Feed ambition, the ambition doesn't lie within your head. And it lies within your heart, my friend. And you pointed to that earlier on. So if you have a dream in life, I tell my people to stoke the fire. Be humble, make the sacrifices, be loyal to it. Be loyal to that dream. be resilient to not dream and believe in yourself. Don't listen to other people believe in yourself. And last but not least number six, is hard work. We all we all assume we all and assume that hard work should be number one. Well, hard work resides here. Because hard work usually revolves around some type of process that you have to put into place. SO HARD WORK resolves revolve comes from here. But so to get to the top, you have to work hard. But any fool can work hard. I could drag anybody off the street and work them hard. And they would be able to do it. But would they be a nice person? Would they be humble? What I want to help them adapt to? Maybe not? Would they be willing to make the sacrifice to make that hard work? Means something now they're not? Would there be loyal to themselves? Would there be looking after themselves away from training? Are they a nice person? Or they're loyal to me? After the turn of lead? Are they going to listen? Maybe not. You know, do they have any dreams? Probably not. That is working hard. So hard work means very, very little to thing that means everything and the greatest skills that you can impart into anybody is an awareness and understanding of what how and how powerful behaviours can be. You know, so I have young people coming off the street with the parents, the President, our little Johnny, little Johnny needs to get faster, they need to get stronger. So no, stop. Come over here. Here's our six principles. We coach behaviour first. These are the greatest skills that little Johnny, little Johnny need to develop because with these skills, they'll be able to get quick because they'll be making sacrifices. They'll be eating the right foods, they'll be listening to the coach, they'll be able to get strong. You know what when the All Blacks that the All Blacks are selected on two things, character and courage. Yeah, they've got to play they've gotta be able to play rugby league rugby union, that they cannot they will never become an all black unless they have those two traits character and courage. Again, a behavioural trip. And so, behaviours are very, very important. So what I did after my mama I, I use that natural grief. It's a natural process, isn't it? It's natural to be angry, isn't it? It's natural to think in life some. It's not as a natural thing. But what I actually did, I actually had a selfless personality, which is a trait, I can't change that in. Sometimes I'd like to change that. And probably the most selfless person you would ever meet. And probably the most given person you'll ever meet. That is my greatest strength. But that's my greatest weakness. Because selfish people see that coming and they can take from me, you know, so does that make me hold back now continue to be selfless. But as a coach is a powerful trait to have. But the behaviour, the natural behaviours around being selfless enabled me to become a relatively successful at what I did as a coach over a long period of tonight,

Ian Hawkins: 46:02

made so much goodness in that humble sacrifice, loyal, emotional resilience, dreams, but not as daydream. And this is my belief into its heartfelt soul dreams, and hard work. And what those who are listening wouldn't have seen was that you were pointing to your head as in your brain, the hard work starts in the processing, which is powerful. Yeah, it ties in beautifully with a video I saw from from a high performance coach in from New Zealand, I can't remember his name. But pretty sure there was an all black link. But he was saying to all the parents, like you know, hand up, you know, all those parents who think that their child is like, extremely gifted, like from a talent perspective, and you know, a person put their hand up and goes, well, I so I'm sorry to disappoint you. But none of your children are going to make it. He said, because the people who make it at high performance is because they're the good people. And if your child's a stand out, athletic performer, he said, This person said, I've only met three people in all of my days who have been both a exceptional person and an exceptional athlete. Now, I think it was George Gregan. I can't remember the other two. But it's like we started with, it starts with self. Yes, with that exceptional quality. And, and it's true of all performance, all levels

Unknown Speaker: 47:29

to get lost. And most it's true, most of these people that make it have gone through some form of adversity, because you learn the traits that you know been. And one of the problems in well, sport athletic development is the fact more most levels, the coach picks the team to win under 12, under 13. And under nines, he picks a team to win. So what they're usually picking is athletes that have a faster maturation edge. So the ones that are small, the ones that are developing, slower, don't get selected, they can get lost a sport. But if they're hanging there, they have to develop behavioural traits to survive on a daily basis, they're going to work harder, because the smaller, they've got to be tougher, because the smaller, they've got to think outside the box just to get by and hopefully get selected. The natural athletes don't have to learn those traits. So the assumption is that the natural athletes are going to get to the top, but they don't develop the behavioural traits, the ones that usually get to the top have gone through adversity, it's the behavioural traits that will then set, take them to the top. And that's what I coach, I call it frontloading Destiny around creating an understanding of what the individual's perception of the perfect behavioural traits are processes through the day, may be in four or five years time. We write that down in detail and I get the athlete to actually wake up the following day and be that person, I got a number of stories that will literally blow your mind and to be honest, literally blow your mind.

Ian Hawkins: 48:59

We're definitely going to have to have a part two because I want to come back to so a few of the stories you mentioned but you mentioned adversity and I don't know when it gets to that that story that you were going to mention before so yeah, so yeah please because this is where to me your behaviour your natural behaviour and the goodness in you came to the forefront.

Unknown Speaker: 49:20

Yeah, probably Yeah. So look summation of forces is a is a strange statement to make but summation of forces is is a triangle that you know, and we all stand at the front of that triangle and and everything behind the work in our in our life journey is all the things that make us who we are. So there's more than one thing that you're going to any situation with. It's actually subconsciously all those things that have gone through your life so low. For me. I was fit destiny. Going into the role of coaching For a long period of time it worked in the English Super League at the Bradford bulls for five years and I was asked to come to the NRL, you know, bring my family across to Australia in 2001, which is which was an amazing opportunity spent five years at the Canberra Raiders, which was a great time, then drag my family again to Penrice to the Panthers for five years. And then I got asked to go into rugby union, which was to the Crusaders, which, for people that don't know too much about sport rugby league rugby union, the Crusaders are one of the most famous franchises if not the most famous franchise in rugby

Ian Hawkins: 50:50

and, and successful,

Unknown Speaker: 50:52

yet unbelievably successful. Yeah, over 70% Over 70% of Crusader players become All Blacks now I don't know of many teams on the planet that could actually come up with that statement. It's an amazing culture. So look, I actually so for for a strength and conditioning coach or a li li to go to Union was a big thing. They always think outside the box, probably why we got me that that's what yeah, they truly believe in having a point of difference. So I actually arrived just after the earthquakes in Christchurch is pretty traumatic time for the poor people of Christchurch that that earthquake, and the subsequent hundreds, if not 1000s, of aftershocks. It was a traumatic time the year that I was, it was traumatic, but also amazingly inspirational. The group of men I was privileged to work with you know, we had 1516 All Blacks in our team, which was really inspirational, inspirational, coaching staff, inspirational head coach, and the people of Christ Church, they would have saw resilient it was just it was quite an amazing time in saying that. I had to go there on my own leave my family behind in Australia for nine months because there's nowhere to live I to live in this little broken down bedsit, it was almost like a slum, you know, so, but that's all that was available, you know. But in Santa Fe, it was quite traumatic, quite traumatic time also pretty inspirational time. But after a year, I was offered the job to go to the Auckland warriors and New Zealand warriors. I was offered an amazing wage. I was offered an opportunity as head of athletic development to recruit or have a say in recruiting my own staff for you know, sports science, medical strength and conditioning performance. It was just in my profession. It was the top of my game has this deaf lad from the north of England from home, you know, 2526 years later through driving, dragging my family around the world there I am in this amazing role. But my family could come over obviously was back together. It was great. Really, really good. But as we all know, when life seems to be going just okay, really good. It gives you a bit of an uppercut and an awakening. So basically to two weeks after arriving in Auckland, I actually two or three it was it was very, very short after I had moved into a nice house near the beach. And the story I'm going to say now I say you know please it's it's I'm sharing the story but there are there are victims involved in the stories I'm sharing it not to, to brag about it or to bring anything apart from it's a pretty traumatic event and how it changed my life. So it's hard to explain how traumatic it was. But ultimately, I was sat in my living room with my wife and my son watching TV and a close friend of mine watching TV, and there was a massive explosion. In my next door neighbor's house you had a large house and we looked out the window and the upstairs there was flames and glass and there's giant big explosions going on. So look ultimately meeting me. I've learned we're all hardwired in a certain way. You know the old behaviours escape passive or aggressive I was instantly put my shoes on. I think my wife Sharon knew what was going to happen. So she was trying to hold me back. And I went out the front door down the side of the house by then other people coming out the houses in the neighbourhood because this was not a normal house fire. Unbeknown to me at the time, the lady got love issue, she was going through a really traumatic time. And she decided that she was going to take her own life. And she'd filled the house full of gas containers and petrol content. So you can imagine, this wasn't a normal type of house fire. So all I can remember is been standing in front of this inferno. And at that point, it had blown the front of the house off

Unknown Speaker: 55:49

the garage entrance, totally blown off. And I couldn't breathe breeze, I'm going in, going in because there was screaming inside the house, I'm going, everything went into slow motion, I can remember my wife screw holding on to me and screaming at me so loud that there was nothing coming out. There's nothing coming out of a voice she was completely panicking thinking that husband's just about to die. The strange thing about it and what I struggled with at the time afterwards, was the fact that I actually thought it was in the data. But it didn't stop me doing what I was doing. It was a really strange scenario. And so look, I went into that garage area towards the screams through the smoke through the stairs up the stairs is very hot. I'm not going to go into too much detail because pretty traumatic And found the lady who had been blown down halfway down the staircase and she wasn't in a very good state God lover dragged through the flans downstairs into the garbage shouted out a couple of chaps that were at the front house gonna give me a hand pulled her out of the garage area. And then literally two seconds after getting out of that stare, and I knew you know, we've all seen these movies, haven't we, you know, the old backflash and Flashpoint and I knew it was gonna go and he went that so you know, I was looking and we got the lady out which was quite surreal. I had a pair of shorts on and a T shirt. I went across the road was there was other people dealing with it, the lady. The fire brigade came obviously the police can pretty quickly the fire brigade started to attack the fire and then the farmer walks across the knife protective gear was looking at me and I didn't have the hair on my body cinched I did not have a her on my body cinched now I went into her absolute internal things happened at that time. I went back into the house the police came in did a statement the following morning the following morning. I got up at four o'clock in the morning and drove across New Zealand to Bettles beach and did a beach session with the boys on the sand dunes and I was saying to the the coaching staff while I was in a pool the lady out of a fire last night I was coughing a little bit you know and but it was like really blase Yeah, it was like I was in like a different type of mindset. And when when I got home the whole street was cordoned off the tactical response police there because the thought had been incendiary device in the house. Obviously I live next door and then the police called me and said oh you need to come to the station give a statement. Which I did. I couldn't actually write the statement. So obviously I was traumatised from the event. I couldn't actually write it I said I said to the detective I can't I literally can't write the stick can I draw it so I think he had his draw it so I drew this picture. And so you've got to sign it. I'm not really comical at the time to sign my little drawing because he's enjoying it. You know, but um, look for that event. I received the New Zealand bravery Medal from the Queen which is really humbling. I accept that on behalf of my family. But mental health is a is a serious thing. My mom who I spoke about she suffered with mental health. So I understand. The lady in question actually took her on like three months later in hospital. So you know that like I said, there's victims involved in that. So this isn't This isn't me about trying to glorify anything. This is just something that happened to me. But what happened to me there was a few things that played on my mind that I couldn't deal with, first of all, how I not only survived but got out without her and my body's singed.

Unknown Speaker: 1:00:20

So I truly believe that it's survived for a reason. And, you know, that's only my experience. But I truly believe that survive for a reason. It used to play on my mind all the time, it affected me to do my job, I'd only just got the job. At the Warriors I tried, I tried, and I did some good things, I designed the high performance, and we did a lot of really good things, but I could not for the life of me create connections with any of the players. It had been something that I've done on my whole career. So there was something was it post traumatic stress, who knows, I don't think it was, what was playing on my mind, was the fact that it wasn't what I was supposed to be doing. And I lost complete passion for what I was doing. And that was coming from somebody that was the most passionate person on the sideline, had no passion for what I was doing at all. And I think as a high achieving a passion. Planner, in my mind, why did I survive? Why did I survive? And this went on, on, on, on on to a point where I left that role after two years. And I came back to Sydney, I used to have this reoccurring dream, thought, strange feeling that I survived for a reason. And then I thought to myself, Well look, if it's not if my if my purpose in life, isn't to work with the best athletes in the world anymore. Which anybody would give them the right arm to do. But if in my mind, it's not to do that, but what is it? I'm not a carpenter, I'm not a plumber. I'm not an electrician, I'm just a coach. So then I thought to myself, well, maybe it must be coaching. And I struggled for a while I tried to do other things, and some high performance talks with some good friends of mine around Australia. And I went to see a really close friend of mine, who owned an air conditioning, factory, and I spoke to him about some things. Literally, just after a job to be honest, at the time, they had to find a job. And I know you can't do that. Why don't you fully dream and help young people? And, and I'll give you part of my I'll give you Palmer factoring what I'll set you up for it? Well, there are some good people in the world. Yeah, because I had this thought. And this thought is resonate with me all the time, I truly believed that if I could change one young person's life for the better, and the way that they would think they would go through life, and affect lots of really, people in their lives in a really positive way. That's really interesting. But then I just think to myself, What if I could change 10 young people's lives for the better? Maybe they'll go through life path and be successful, they might affect 1000s of people. And then I thought in my strange, general head, if I can change 1000s of young people's lives, maybe I can change this fucking world. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah. And I thought to myself, well, maybe that's why I survived. So in my strange madness, it just my mind, again, don't trust your mind. I went on this journey. Now look, ultimately, SuperSix was built for all the right reasons. It wasn't easy, because nobody knew what the hell was going on. It wasn't easy. It was a challenge. You know, I got to a stage where I got very, very tired. I got very, very tired, very lost for a period of time that I was doing something that people I wasn't getting customers, people didn't understand what was going on. I knew it was the right thing to do, I believe, I truly believe that. And I got to the stage where I was that exhausted with that drive, and I was driving home from from work, and I just wanted to drive into a tree finish. So I know, like took me that wasn't anything to do with post traumatic disorder that was to do with me, being absolutely exhausted. And feeling that maybe I was doing the wrong thing. And I made a mistake. And I felt responsible to my family to bit success. I wasn't earning any money, or gone from any lots of money to nothing. You know, my wife has been unbelievably supportive my family. And I just feel I felt like, you know, I was letting everybody down. But I felt like what I was doing was for the right reason, but ultimately, fast tracking a few more years. We're now in a central black tennis International Sports Park. There's lots of development going on. We've had over 25,000 visits to SuperSix we've had we've had you For people recovering from cancer, we've had young people in emergency care. We've had world champions, and everything in between. and super six is a truly amazing space because we create a safe space for young people to become the best that can be.

Unknown Speaker: 1:05:17

Not only helps him in sport, but it helped definitely 100% helps him in life. Now this sounds like some type of advertisement, to be honest. I don't give jack shit about me coming across like that. And because I know what I do is literally life changing. We have Australia's if not the world's, on only there'll be a lot of people that disagree with me. But I'm telling you, I know this for a fact. All Inclusive programme, we have young people with a disability, training with people, apparently natural, normal people, which I hate using the word people with disabilities, they're more inspirational. And we have people that turn up that apparently a nonverbal can interact with people can do this, the car do that within 10 weeks that communicate and the moving independently, the fit that is life, transforming. And the most important thing is that I have athletes over here that have never been in an environment with athletes like these. And it's such an inspirational place, it is truly inclusive. It's a very powerful space. Do I still miss high performance? Hell yeah. Because that's my part of my DNA. So I still scratch my itch with high performance, I still I still work with elite athletes and elite teams. In various, as you'll see from my website, from, you know, the mental skills and application side of things, you know, from being a bit of a consultant here, they're in everywhere, that scratches that little bit of an itch. And it's hard to accept that even I have this huge depth of knowledge, that and I could, I could do so many great things in elite professional sport that my role now is to work with eight, nine year olds, just doing the basics, but for them, it's life changing. So I got to accept that. It's a challenge. But if you truly if you truly believe that, and you get in touch with who you are, and you do things for the right reason, so I'm not driven by wealth, wealth isn't money, money is corrupted, money is bad. Money drives people money, and resides up here, not in here. So some people are gonna love them. But I truly believe that the greatest gift in life and the greatest resource is your time we spoke about this. So the greatest thing you can give to anybody is your time, you will we only have so much of that time, and to give your time and your expertise to young people to enable them to fast track their development physically and emotionally for them to be better people in society is a powerful thing. It isn't. And giving is so powerful, not receiving, giving, and giving and giving out. Sometimes, like I said to you earlier being a selfless type of person is that can be an issue, it can be you can be taken for granted. You got to accept that. But I truly believe if you continue to give out, you will get goodness back. I just I just that's a knowing. And that's a knowing it's not a feeling that is a knowing. And often people assume to be successful or to be loved or to be liked revolves around. And this is a problem with today's society. It's instantaneous for young people on social media being likes how many likes to have, it's just living in myth, again, not reality. And people need to get in touch with who they are living the moment. They're really happy with who they are, and try and make a difference. First of all, with the people that are around you fighting a losing battle with modern technology, but in my little world in my little space, we focus on being the best we can be in a safe environment around behavioural traits. So I don't like that change next week. I don't know in my life changes. But yeah, so it's, it's a pretty powerful story in a lot of respects. And it's real. If this is real. Should should it should I get more I've never asked for help. I've never asked for financial help. I've never had I've done it all myself. It's been hard. It's been really hard. But I'm talking from the north of England, I can take that. It almost took its toll on me a few times. I know that but I thought that should it you know, we only there's four forms of investment to be successful. So to create something that's successful or worthwhile in life, there's four resources that you can tap into, obviously, your energy, and I have a lot of energy, there's your time, you're willing to put time into it. And 24/7 If you have a, if you have a

Unknown Speaker: 1:10:19

nicely, obviously a passion, but it's something you've got a mission in life, it's 24/7. So times important a skill, you need a skill set. And financial resources. I have three, which is energy, time and skill, the financial side of things has been around me, you know, and in the money to reinvest into the business. I can have all the money in the world, but without without the the energy or the passion and the time and the skill, it would never work. But I think I'm at the stage now where I need, I need investment to make sure that this programme is available for more children, because as you know, I want to change the world in Yeah, leave. I want to leave a lasting legacy. And yeah, yeah. Yeah, look, I could tell you 1000 stories in but it's not it's led me to this point. Do I think that I'm 58 years old now? Do I think that my life my working life is coming to an end? Or whatever? No, no, no, I guess my biggest my biggest achievements are ahead of me. We have a My dad told me this, we have three ages, we have a numerical edge. So I'm 58 People get again, myth versus reality, people get obsessed with being 58. Yeah, well, it's just a number. It's just a flip of the magic of the sun. So what if you lived on Mars, you'd have had four times less orbits of the number isn't it isn't. So the other the other thing the other forms of age, your biological age, which is your health, and your spiritual age. So ultimately, to be healthy and happy, you have to have a process in place where you feed your biological age, through healthy lifestyle, healthy eating, and you focus on your spiritual age. And you feed that person, the real person and not the person I'm looking at your person for you told me And how old is the religion? You think about it, that you know that you're

Ian Hawkins: 1:12:25

past the age of the person? I've lived many lifetimes?

Unknown Speaker: 1:12:29

Do you think you have what you maybe have? I do too, but the person I'm talking to now, so How old do you actually feel inside? How old? How old? Do you feel inside?

Ian Hawkins: 1:12:40

I'm a young says, yeah. So

Unknown Speaker: 1:12:44

for me, I know I'm 58 numerically but knee I can't see I just I can't see beyond 3233. I can't. And so it's a really funny thing. Because you just assume you just assume because you from the inside looking out. I remember being at the Panthers I would have been like late 40s. Early 50s never been one of the players said to me, Hey, you know, Jenna, you look at you, like my uncle mess up. Looking serious. I mean, I just it was like a shock. It was like a reality that the people I thought was I was on a par with. They were seeing me as like an old. They're on call. It's the first time that I'd literally realised that. But in actual fact, I think it's a healthy thing to focus on who you are spiritually, and what you need to do biologically, because my dad is the biggest proof of that. You know, he's focused on his health. His art He's obsessed by it is an 87. He's been having a stroke. He's been having cancer. And it's his health and as well, it's got him through that. And spiritually as young as young as he came across fishing a couple of years ago, it was amazing. It came across fishing. He came across Australia and we took him fishing. We took him up to Jindabyne fishing on a lake there and we got up. We camped and it was mean I met my dad and my my son so my dad's grandson. Yeah. And we went down went down to the side of the lake there's about three o'clock in the morning my dad said to me, bloody our cow. This is amazing. I'm in the middle of Australia fishing with my son and my grandson. I'm going to I want to be here in 40 years. So good don't make you 120 I said yeah, so I don't think he's gonna live forever but holy macaroni is at seven still trends every day but it's it's been it's it's having that mindset around focusing on your your biological age and your spiritual age is such a powerful

Ian Hawkins: 1:14:53

thing. 100 was a powerful thing. Yeah. And I say Bill this regularly I am healthier now. But I've been since I was a teen because of exactly that. That's why I'm able to run around on a football field like a lunatic still. In my head, I'm still 26. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker: 1:15:10

yeah, well, well, you got to get in touch with your heart in who the trooper of the real person is get out your head in.

Ian Hawkins: 1:15:18

That's my, that's what I do for work. Cattle. That's where that's where I spend my time. And we talked about passion before, that's my passion is not just to spend as much time in my heart as possible, but to help other people's to connect, connect to this soul to connect to what you talked about, which is that part of them that that, so they know what they're meant to be doing? Yeah, that's where life really starts to get exciting, right?

Unknown Speaker: 1:15:48

I think so. Yeah. And some people because they get so trapped in, in myth, the loose, loose themselves to lose track of time to lose track of themselves. It's, it's, I've been through a lot of adversity, learning amazing things, and we all have, but I think I've just been blessed to think slightly different, to actually use it in a in a way that I can help other people.

Ian Hawkins: 1:16:17

And, like, one of the gifts of this podcast is to give a platform for people to share how they've everything that they've overcome all of the moments of grief in their life, how that has allowed them to move into the space that they are to do the work that they do to make the difference that they know that they were meant to make. So I know, your time is precious. And you probably have gone over now what you were supposed to. But I really appreciate you investing this time, not just for me, but for the listeners. Because what a great, what a great storyteller you are, I can't wait to get you back to hear some of those most more of those stories that you you. Yes, that need to be told. So thank you, Carla, I appreciate the time, we appreciate you. And thank you.

Unknown Speaker: 1:17:11

Now you're more than welcome in it. And it's it was really good that you gave me your time too. And I don't like sharing. People normally tell me I'm talking rubbish. Now what? I don't like sharing these stories too much. I'm not a bragger. You know, a lot of these things that are very personal. So it's taken a little bit to actually share it, believe it or not, because they're pretty personal type of stories. But I think that if it can help people or inspire somebody, for goodness, that's a good thing. Yeah, that's a good thing. It can only be a good thing. And I think the most important thing for us and is we need to know, I know that you just down the road, we need to catch up for a coffee because that's what we should.

Ian Hawkins: 1:18:00

Yeah. Well, what I know. And you mentioned before the knowing what I know about the opportunity to tell stories is you get a get a new way of seeing the world so you get healing through this might get healing through this and everyone in the audience does. Everyone listening to this by going on this emotional journey coming out the side we all end up in a better place. So again, our honour you and thank you. Appreciate it. Okay. Thank you. Welcome my speech. Yeah, hopefully. I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favourite podcast platform