How To Fix The Slow Leaks In Your Tyres

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you, during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

I'm just here at my son's football on a on a very wet evening, just in the middle of the absolute brutal rain spell here in Sydney. So you'll hear some of the rain on the on the top of the car here. So I apologize for that maybe you'll find that quite soothing. Anyway, what I wanted to talk about today was the things that impact us in a slow way that we don't necessarily notice when they happen immediately we happen, we notice as things happen over time. So it's like the slow leak in a car tire, you're not going to necessarily notice it straightaway. But as the leak starts to take air out of the tire, you may notice some change in the handling of a car. You may notice, if you look at the tire, and you happen to be looking at a tire that there's been a change. But generally, because it's happening a little bit at a time, we don't notice straight away. And the same thing happens with things like our physical well-being like our tiredness levels. And it's sort of banks up over a slow period of time, then suddenly, we had something like burnout. Or maybe it's something like I've been talking a bit about lately, which is those those minor lower level anger points that we just tolerate. And over time, they the impact of that slowly builds up and up and up within our system. And then we have those moments where it all catches up with us. And then we wonder how on earth did we get here? So what do we do about it? Well, the first thing is, is that we have to be more self-aware of what's going on in our world. And when I say that, that's not necessarily at like, we can get to the point where we are wherever, at any given point, but it's learning the lessons from when things have got to the point where we suddenly notice this flat tire, or you get burnout, or you suddenly have this explosion of anger or frustration or something like that. When that happens, identifying what led to it. So for me, burnout used to be a regular challenge when I first started doing business, because when you when you have your own business, there can be this sense that you're never finished. And because you're not just got this salary that's going to be there, at the end of the fortnight, there's part of you that's going, I gotta keep going, I've got to keep going, I've got to keep adding value, I've got to keep making sure I'm doing all the things to give myself this guarantee. And that's just one of the normal things of starting a business is that that that mindset around how you're doing what it's been the case for most people that I speak to.

So for me, it was identify, Okay, I keep having these patterns of every 345 months I get into this state of burnout, and then being able to have a conversation about it, what is it that I can do differently. So whether you're doing it yourself, acknowledging yourself, which which I would highly recommend keeping a journal form, or you're talking it out with someone. The first step is self-awareness. Because when you're self-aware, and you notice something, well, then you can do something about it. But if the pattern just keeps repeating, you don't pause long enough to acknowledge that's even a problem. And you'll just keep having the same thing. You'll keep pumping up that tire, and then it'll keep slowly going flat again, and that doesn't really get you anywhere. So for me, it was like, Well, how do I actually do something about this? And when I was going through these stages of burnouts, I was working with my coach around the reality of the situation. So the reality of the situation was that I was actually getting great results in the lead-up to to a holiday. So it was like, why don't you take more breaks? When you take more holidays? Why don't you take time off? And the interesting thing is I was also really struggling, leading up to those breaks. So getting good results, but really struggling. And then it was like what what was like getting off the back of those times where I was burnout and whether I'd either be forced to sleep and rest and recover because I got sick or actually had a holiday is I would get so much clarity after I was rested. And I would have a clear plan on what I needed to do next. So I was like, Okay, great. Now we know what's going on, we know, what are the positive aspects, and then we know what we're going to change. So for me, it's like making sure that I have a break every six weeks. Now, if you're in that place where you've got a job, that might not be as easy. But you can break in different ways, right? So maybe the break you need is every six weeks, on a weekend, you don't do any social media, or you don't do any of the exercise or whatever it is that you are bombarding yourself with, generally. So maybe it's a weekend away, maybe it's not having to go and do the usual tasks that you push yourself through the weekend. And if you can spare yourself an extra day and make it a long weekend, or have a half-day on a Friday, or whatever it is, there's a million different ways that you come up with that solution. But making sure you're prioritizing whatever needs to be prioritized. Now if it's something like the anger thing, it's recognizing that here a here are the things that lead to me having those sort of reactions, it's usually when I'm not getting enough sleep, maybe I'm drinking a little bit too much like it's just gone past what I would normally do, maybe it's gently sneaking into midweek, and then the midweek drinking is getting a bit bigger, and then suddenly, I'm more snappy than I used to be more tired, get overwhelmed, whatever else is going on. Because only then when you take the time to pause and look at what's going on, can you actually come up with a solution and create a a new way of being and then once you create the new way, committing it to paper, typing it up, just solidified and then making a commitment to yourself to actually take those breaks. So there's been plenty of times over the last three years with me having this system for my for my breaks, where I've like, oh, I can't break I've got so much to do. On You know, I really need to keep going for maybe from a financial perspective, or some perceived idea that I think is going to be getting me to where I want to go. And then just reminding myself that actually, if I take this time to pause and to rest, and to blow this tire up, so it's full and supporting me and keep me on the road, the road on the right track, being able to steer all those beautiful metaphors around the car, then if I commit and I stick to that, then I'm going to be better on the other side of that. Once you can do those things, then you're going to be able to change so many of these different patterns. Now sometimes there's more to it than that. That's why I see coaches, why I recommend having a gauge that's why I talk to you guys about it. But the first thing that you can take control of is definitely the awareness and definitely then writing out a new plan and making sure you stick to it. And if you follow those three things, you're gonna be well on the way to creating all new habits that are healthy, and giving you steering in the right direction.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform.