I Should Have Said No!!

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

Have you ever gone to the well one too many times? And then realize after should have said no. I shouldn't have said yes to that. And then resented the situation, I'd be the person that asked you to help or to do something. She said no. When you grow up feeling valued for helping people or keeping them happy. Being a people pleaser, you might say there'll be times when people take advantage of that. And they'll take advantage of you. They will feel like you've been manipulated because others will prey on that giving nature. They'll expect you to do things for them to bend over backwards for them, to drop everything for them. And often with little thanks or recognition for your help and hard work. And that help will be at your expense mind you have your energy and your time. But eventually, like I said, you get the will to me times and you get jacket because there are only so many times you can get back before it runs dry. And then like I said you're not resenting people for it. But when you step out of that role through either sheer frustration or exhaustion you find out how much people really valued the help you gave. They either walk away and find someone else to be at their beck and call. Or they come on the attack, accusing you of accusing you of being selfish, selfish, really putting yourself first, for looking after your health, looking after your immediate family. It's crazy. But this is what happens when you break free from the role you've played for most of your life. That role of feeling responsible for other people's happiness. You're not alone there. This is a recurring theme for the sensitive, empathetic and kind souls of the world. It's been a reoccurring theme for me. In my past. Recently, I sent a survey out to a number of my past and current clients asking for feedback on the biggest pain point when they started working with me. And the most crucial thing they changed to a bit of market research. Many of them confirmed what I already knew. Which was they had been taken advantage of or used. And they were so happy to have shifted the anxiety, depression and overwhelm, exhaustion, self doubt and all of those other things that accompany this behavior and their life for so many years. It's not something people master overnight, you can shift the belief easily enough. But then you've got to actually take the action to change that habit. And sometimes they can be easier said than done. Because the habits been there for so long. That's when the real work starts. And it's ongoing as you continue to peel back more layers of this pattern. But as that Chinese proverb states, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. Second best time is today. So start today. start breaking that habit today. You will never ever regret taking that step to improve yourself. But you absolutely will regret not taking action and wished you'd done it years before

Particularly if you ignore your data interests, you have instincts that are encouraging you to make that change. Make it happen.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform