Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next, before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you, during this episode, please send me an email at info at the end Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.
If you have a child who's going through a really challenging time, maybe they're going through some challenges that are reoccurring. It can be the natural inclination to do everything you can to help your child get the help they need. And I'm certainly not saying that you shouldn't do that. What I do know is that the fastest way to create a change for your child is to do the work on yourself, they get so much more out of what we do out of having great modeling than they do from what we tell them or from whatever external help that we get. Because when we change who we are, when we change the patterns of behavior and the different challenges that we've experienced, then that ripples out through the closest people to us got a client at the moment that's been working with for about 12 months. And she's had a heap of different challenges with with her two daughters, and she's taken them to see different professionals a different time. And honestly, I have as well, like both of my children have seen professionals at different times. What I know is that my client is doing what she needs to do, to show up the best that she can for them. And what that does, it gives them permission to do the same. So much of the pressure that's placed upon our children, by society, by school by the world by them just knowing way more than we did. They're exposed to so much more information, so much more knowledge, which is good in some sense, but also they they know so much more. And so when we were growing up, we had to navigate challenges without doubt. But we were in a way, we built a resilience around so many, so many of those elements, because we just didn't know any different. It's just how it is. And so to be able to be that role model of consistency, of growth, of improvement, of change of being prepared to do whatever it takes to show up better for ourselves and for them for our relationships. The impact that has is it's infinite, it's limitless. So, well, the natural inclination is to think, right, we'll have to get this help or I have to get that help or you know, where can I steer them. And I will reiterate this while still giving your child the help that they need. The work that you do is going to have a far bigger impact. So at this point in time, some self reflection, having an honest conversation with yourself and honest conversation with your partner. Okay, well, where could we be better? Where are we putting pressure on that we don't even realize where are we still trying to control them? To have them live in the way that we think they should? Where could we actually provide more of a safe space for them to choose their own path? Where could we be empowering them just take the steps to grow themselves to improve themselves. Now, there are certain things particularly when our children are younger, where we need to be hands on for their safety for the dependency on us for different elements of Living in this world, the sooner we can let go of that controller, the sooner we can empower. Lift them up, the better. And the easiest way to do that is through our own self empowerment and moving towards a better way for ourselves. So that when they react in this in a way that triggers you, you're able to calmly just redirect. ask good questions, and be a great listener. I am aware that that is easier said than done. That is exactly why the best work you can do to help your child is on yourself. We'd love to hear your thoughts. What positive impact have you noticed from your own growth? What challenges have you had? As always, my lines always open in grab my details on the website. You can also send me a message connect with me on the socials. Email me or forward to speaking to you soon.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform