What Really Causes Your Anxiety....And Maybe Your Children's As Well

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

And everyone, today I want to talk about anxiety. Now, there's plenty written about it. There's plenty talked about what what is what causes it? Is it a chemical imbalance? Is it a condition? What do you do about it, and there's so much noise out there. Now I'm going to share what I know from my experience and how I've been helping people with exactly this. And so far, this has been true for every person I've dealt with, and I'm talking about from people who have had low level anxiety all the way through to really chronic anxiety in different situations. And it's not about the anxiety, it's what what's happening beforehand, that's actually creating the problem. And I'll explain. So there's a, there's a full spectrum of emotions that we have from anything from joy. And then taking about 20 steps down to all the way down to the bottom of the rung, which is things like hopelessness, feelings of depression, anxiety, fear, and everything that happens then in that space, which we don't want to spend time in. Now, when we resist certain emotions, when we suppress certain emotions, then we jump down levels really quickly. So generally, people have a default pattern that they repeat, that they repeat where they go from jump from one spot to the next. And often it's around anger. We grow up, we're told, don't be angry. Everything that we have, that people talk about is around how the right way to the right in inverted commas, way to operate in society. And it's like you can't be angry, you can't get upset because people will come down hard on you. We've had this drummed into us from a young age that don't be angry, don't get upset. So we've got this pattern running from hearing this language again and again, which is contradictory, contradictory to how we are actually fairly. So what do we do, we suppress the anger, we push it down. And when we resist any feeling any emotion, then we jump to another level. So for often people are going, they're in a pretty good mood, something triggers them that makes them angry, even the smallest thing, they just go, it's not important, I won't deal with it. Or they're running that pattern that says I'm not allowed to feel how I'm feeling. So then they jump again, right down to something that's not good, often anxiety. So then suddenly, we're feeling this anxiety out of nowhere. And we're left wondering, Why am I feeling this, there is no reason for me to be feeling this. Or there's a certain situation that you're in where typically, that anxiety showed up before. And then you repeat the pattern, and you put it down to that particular type of situation, rather than coming back to cause, which is our tendency to ignore anger, to suppress anger, to not allow ourselves to be angry. Now, what this means is we don't go out and then inflict that anger on to other people, because we don't want to do that either. If we actually want to be able to treat people the best way that we possibly can, but rather, how do we then process that anger in a healthy way, so that we're not doing that we're not reacting in an angry way that's going to impact other people, but we're able to have the skill to be able to process this ourselves. So rather than going from a pretty good mood, to something that pisses us off, pitches us off to suddenly having this anxiety or sadness or something come over us out of nowhere, we're able to go there was something that's that's made me angry, run a quick process so that we allow ourselves to feel it and then reuse that anger to then drive us forward, rather than falling down into something that's far less beneficial and can often keep us stuck for long periods of time. I

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I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform